There are moments in our lives when we are confronted with difficulties, feel overwhelmed, unappreciated or have a feeling we have taken the wrong direction either for ourselves or for given the wrong direction to others. Sometimes we then start to overthink, self criticize and wonder why we have been taken through trials. What have we done wrong? Sometimes this can be the moment when we find it hard to love ourselves.
When we do something wrong or feel that someone has done something wrong to us its natural that we are critical of ourselves. The problem is that if this self-criticism becomes a perpetual behaviour or habit.
Negative thoughts are very powerful and if we continue to think negatively it undoubtedly starts to reinforce our behaviour. Alternatively if we aim to think positively we engender a behaviour that is contagious and promotes kindness towards others and self-worth to ourselves.
When you have to face difficulties, especially things you don’t understand, instead of being critical of others, complain to others or have a generally negative attitude try to have a new perspective that potentially turns it to your advantage. “This is not meant to stop me, it’s meant to promote me. I may not be comfortable, I may not like it, but I know that God is using it to push me to a new level and to push me to my purpose. “
When we have done something wrong or someone has done something wrong to us we all have a tendency to blame someone or ourselves.
How can we change this?
How can you change this? Every time you’ve either done something wrong or you’ve been hurt, you must say to yourself. “What can I learn from this?” This will give you a sense of ownership. Tell yourself “I can change this.”
One way to look at perpetual unfortunate behavior is to this that it is perhaps based upon your conditioning or previous experiences. Perhaps someone hurt us because in the past someone hurt them? So if we want to change that cycle we have to realize that our conditioning shapes us. Blaming just keeps us stuck!
Sometimes if a door closes for a reason we don’t like or understand it may be because a bigger door will be opened later on, taking us to a new level!
Generally if you find someone that’s very unhappy, more often than not they are also very self-critical. It goes hand in hand. Often people that are very happy have very little self-criticism.
It’s important to have love. A self love, a love for others and by living in the present moment. It’s also important to not be caught up in the script of what people think should be right or wrong, or staying stuck in the past. If you have faith, then God knows what’s right or wrong for us, so don’t worry!
There are times God stirs things up. A friend will do you wrong, your business goes down, or you lose a loved one. God uses loss, betrayal and persecution to force us to change. He’s pushing you into your purpose. Every closed door is not a bad thing, every person that walks away is not a mistake. When everything is good we are comfortable, we don’t want to step out into the unknown.
We may not like it but if those doors had not been closed we would have stayed where we were. God loves you too much to let you miss you destiny. You have too much potential, too much talent and too much in you to stay stuck where you are.
We may need to work hard to have self-love. The way we do that is by not totally denying self-criticism but by reflecting on your behavior, being aware of it and changing it. “I love myself. I learnt from this by I love myself”. Have kindness towards others and most importantly be kind to yourself. It is that process that brings about healing. When we heal we feel better in ourselves and then we can look at our self and saying “life is good.” Be thankful that we have this life and enjoy the present moment.
God will put you in situations that will help you grow. Every difficulty that you’ve been through, every person you’ve disagreed with, every bad break it was all put there to push you, to mature you, to make you stronger and ultimately to make you into the person you are. If you haven’t had these experiences you wouldn’t be able to deal with the new levels and experiences that are just around the corner.
No matter what our background is – it can be changed – but it takes diligence, faith, time and effort. Then we can live well, free, happy and with an inner peace. Then you will be able to achieve your purpose.